The Road to SummerSlam: Hey Guys Juniors Cheesecake is a Few Blocks Away

ENOUGH OF THE TALKING. ENOUGH OF EVERYTHING. SUMMERSLAM IS SUNDAY AND AFTER YOU WAKE UP WONDERING HOW COULD GOD BLESS YOU EVEN MORE AFTER YOU FINISH WATCHING NXT TAKEOVER: BROOKLYN, WELL GUESS WHAT THE GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME AND ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD! PREVIEWS B!

Source: wwe.com

Intercontinental Championship Match: The Big Show vs. The Miz vs. Ryback: Lets just call it how it is. NO ONE cares for this match. It’s only happening because it couldn’t happen at Battleground after Ryback suffered a staph infection. This will be the bathroom break match for sure.

Winner: The Miz

Source: wwe.com

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus: I’m genuinely shocked there’s no added spice to this match like making it a street fight or putting the Money In The Bank briefcase on the line especially after each individual cost the other the WWE World Heavyweight Championship two weeks ago in the span of 15 minutes. RKO out of nowhere? Hopefully it’s through a table.

Winner: Randy Orton

Source: wwe.com

WWE Tag Team Championship Fatal Four-Way Match: The New Day vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores vs. The Prime Time Players: I do wish this was an elimination style match as though it would give it less of a cluster fuck than it has potential to be.  These teams have all gotten wins against one another in the buildup to this, and with The New Day having three members could they finally recapture the gold? One does wonder if Los Matadores feels some type of way after being called “Puerto Rican Bullfighters” by the PTP. HMMMM

Winner: The New Day

Source: wwe.com

Divas Three-Way Elimination Tag Team Match: Team PCB vs. Team Bella vs. Team B.A.D: It’s the divas revolution we wanted. As a pure WWE fan it is a long time coming from the early 2000’s where this match would take place as a Bra & Panties match. This will be a joy to watch and on the plus side I get to see Sasha BAE, whether she is champion or not will remain to be seen…

Winner: Team Bella

Source: wwe.com

Stephen Amell & Neville vs. Stardust & King Barrett: This has been brewing for months. Unfortunately with the passing of Dusty Rhodes things had to be put to a haul. Stardust has been craving for a hero and feeling as though the man with the red arrow and the guy who plays The Green Arrow are not filling his needs. I did not get why Barrett was thrown in, but after watching him become the Cosmic King. I AM HERE FOR THIS WAY MORE THAN THE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH

AND HE IS TOTALLY COMING IN HIS GREEN ARROW COSTUME.

Winner: Stephen Amell & Neville

Source: wwe.com

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler: This WWE’s version of Drake vs. Meek Mill. Rusev is so Drake and that’s all I have to say about that. HOW BOUT THAT FLAG THO.

Winner: Rusev

Source: wwe.com

Wyatt Family vs. Roman Reigns & Dean Ambrose: We thought we were getting Sting. I am glad we’re not getting Sting. You know what these four can do inside and outside the ring. Chaos is on it’s way to the Barclays Center and if you need a preview just go watch these guys tear each other a part at Elimination Chamber 2014.

Winner: Roman Reigns & Dean Ambrose

Source: wwe.com

Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro: It’s the match of the night. Don’t question me. Please DO NOT QUESTION ME.

Winner: Kevin Owens

Source: wwe.com

Title for Title United States Champion John Cena vs. WWE World Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins: Did you know John Cena has lost his last FOUR SummerSlam matches with all of them being the main event? We always say Cena is guaranteed to win the big money matches, but that stat speaks shockingly different. He’s fixed the nose so he’s ready to go, but the face that runs the place has to find a way to end the future and I’m not to sure he can do that.

Winner: Seth Rollins

Source: wwe.com

Brock Lesnar vs The Undertaker: Its the rematch we’ve been waiting for, but didn’t really wait with anticipation because we thought The Deadman was…dead. He’s not though, but after costing Lesnar the WWE World Heavyweight Championship and then kicking him in the nuts on TWO occasions. Taker has to die for the culture whether we like it or not.

Winner: Brock Lesnar 

IT’S THIS SUNDAY. IT’S FOUR HOURS. EVERYTHING IS LIT.