The Shoot with Hacksaw Duggus
Ladies and Gentlemen, My name is Hacksaw Duggus, and welcome to another edition of The Shoot with Hacksaw Duggus. It seems to me that it is becoming a trend to interview champions and it continues this week with the most shocking WGL.WWE champion ever in Bullet Club Member DeathProof. With the Elimination Chamber approaching I caught up with the new champ to speak on his path to his spot on the top because to be honest, Who the hell saw it coming?
1) I usually start these things off with allowing you to introduce yourself, but you’ve got something that needs some explaining to that is draped over your shoulder.
DP: *Looks at WGL World Title around his shoulder* What is there to explain? You saw Smackdown, they (the fans) saw Smackdown, everybody saw Smackdown. For those that haven’t, I suggest you get out of from under that rock you’re living under, clean out the filth out of ears and listen up. I am YOUR NEW WGL WORLD CHAMPION.
2) Is this even allowed to happen? It’s never been done before.
DP: Allowed to happen? Of course it was allowed you slacked jawed idiot! That’s what happens when you have a plan. And I love it when a plan comes together. *Smiles* Fans are wondering, “But how did he get Peign’s briefcase?”, well I’ll be happy to tell you morons.
You see, desperate men do desperate things, and sometimes those desperate things involve extreme measures. His “Royal high-ness” came to me, beat down from a previous match, who am I kidding, ALL of his matches, and asked me for my help. He was going on and on saying he needed to be better for his people, and he needs to learn how to be a winner and succeed so he can be a proper king to his people back in, I don’t know, Rancho Cucamonga or wherever his goofy ass is from. So I came up with a plan. I told him I would help him but he would also have to help me. All he had to do is give me his briefcase.
His desperation clouded his judgement, and therefore he accepted my offer. So while he HELD the briefcase, it was never truly his. The King of Kansas became Bullet Club’s court jester. So, finally, I saw an opportunity and I took was rightfully mine. *Pats the WGL World Title plate on his shoulder*
3) Well since that’s all covered. Let the world know who you NOW are.
DP: *Shakes his head* I already told you, I AM YOUR WORLD CHAMPION.
4). You’ve seen our recent interviews. You know I have to ask about your thoughts on your Bullet Club members, and the comments made by FORMER champion Mike Lee.
DP: Good lord, you are the worst. Why do you still have a job with this company? *Shakes his head* Fine I’ll answer your stupid questions. Yes, I’ve seen the recent interviews. I’m still wondering why you still have a job because all of them were terrible up until this point. The Club is alive and well, and once we remove certain members of the group we will be better than ever.
And ask for Mike Lee and his comments. Well, you see what happens when you run your mouth about the club. Not only did I lead my team to a dominate victory against those WGL dorks at Survivor Series via TEAM SWEEP, I continue to smell blood in the water, and attacked Mike Lee at his weakest. One cash in and a Deathblow and that was all she wrote for the “most dominate champion” in WGL history. And now as the WGL World champion, I will continue to be lead this club down the path of greatness.
5). So despite what Hunter said, are you the leader of the club?
DP: If you believe anything that Hunter said, then you have to be the bigger idiot than I thought you were Slackjaw. If Hunter was really the leader, then how come he wasn’t clever enough to get this title by any means? I have ALWAYS been the leader of the Bullet Club. Notice, he came to ME to join. Our plan all along was to take over WGL, but he let his pride and ego ruin all of that. Now, I did the ONE THING he could never do and that was beat Mike Lee for this *Shakes title on his shoulder. Then switches the belt from his left shoulder to his right shoulder* and jealousy rears its ugly head.
6). Many people question your title status. Many say it’s all because of the club being backed by the likes of The Authority. This true? Is there a relationship with the authority?
DP: Where are you getting this information from Slackjaw? The dirt sheets? Neither I or The Club have nothing to do with the Authority.
7). You weren’t even the number one contender or merely in the title picture, how do you think you’ll fair being the hunted when you weren’t even considered a hunter?
DP: Heh, the last guy who “Hunted” for the title, couldn’t get the job done, so like a true leader I am, I had to do everything myself. As a matter of fact, let me ask you something Slackjaw. Name one guy in the back right now that’s better than me!?
HD: Well I think…..
DP: That’s right, you can’t, because I’ve beaten them all. Old, new, didn’t matter. They’ve all came crashing down. So the way I see it, I was number one contender regardless of standings, power rankings, or whatever lonely geeks like you value. And the way I see it, nobody is on my level.
8). Will this reign last?
DP: Longer than your fabled wrestling career in Japan, Slackjaw… *Chuckles to himself*
9). You’ve got an elimination chamber coming up with opponents who haven’t all been announced. Worried much?
DP: Worried? About what? Let’s go down the list of who is in the match so far. We have a “Hardcore Moron” in DCP, a Failed American Ninja participant in that Shadow dork Damien, A 2nd rated and highly jealous Kraven The Hunter, who looks as if he attempted MMA and sucked so bad at it that he thought to give pro wrestling a try, and one of the best up and coming, my brother in arms, Joe “The Prodigy” West. I’m not concerned in the slightest. Joe will win, and he will do the right thing at WrestleMania, which will be me walking away with this title and bringing in a new era of greatness.
10). What’s it gonna take to prove you’re a Legit champion?
DP: I’ve had it with these stupid questions Slackjaw, this interview is over….
*Gets up from his seat, brushes his self off, and “Too Sweets” his newly won WGL World Title. Looks at Hacksaw, and shakes his head as he walks away in disgust from the interview set*
